The Breathing Prosperity blog

When was the last time you climbed the monkey bars? Does it matter if you have kids or not?…

Yesterday as we were driving, we passed by a fun-looking park, and my daughter asked if we could stop so she could climb. She is happy to report that I said yes, and pulled into the adjacent parking lot. I parked and as she ran off to climb around, suddenly the thought occurred to me that I too could be climbing around…so why wasn’t I? No good reason. So I jumped out and began climbing the geometric trapeze, and my daughter was really delighted to not be by herself in the park. THAT was the true benefit…my daughter’s delighted smile that Mommy was coming to play with her.

What could you be doing that you loved when you were a child, but no longer bother with? Are you feeling like you’re too old to do ‘kids’ stuff?’ Never! If you want to enjoy the smile that simple pleasure brings (and what adult doesn’t long for that?), go dig in to some finger paint, fly a kite or go bike riding, or walk to a pond and look for tadpoles…or climb around on the local monkeybars!

Like many of you, I have a child for whom today was the last day of school. Because it was a half day - only 3 hours - I decided to stick around the school area and just wait for her to finish at 11:30. Sitting in my car and reading, I noticed some kids coming outside for one last gym class, and lo and behold it was my daughter’s class. Let me tell you, time stood still for me today…

Unnoticed as I sat down the block in my car (although I felt a little like a stalker), I watched my daughter play in the schoolyard with her class…the last day of Grade Four.

Bizarrely, I thought for a moment of continuing to read my book as it was very engrossing. My momentary lapse of reason was eclipsed by the awareness that I was witnessing one of those eternal moments, when kids are just being kids; a simple moment that most parents only wish they had the opportunity to see but alas, cannot because they are at work every day. It is even more poignant for me now as I type about it, and see even more clearly how fleeting it was. It almost seemed as if the kids were playing in slow motion. I could see all the different dynamics at play between them, and could see that they took themselves very seriously, while simultaneously being able to view them as pure innocence; just children laughing and running around in a playground. It could have been any school, anywhere…but it wasn’t, because there was my beautiful daughter. I thought I was grateful before, but never have I been so grateful as I am RIGHT NOW.

It is not the little things, but our awareness and appreciation of them that make all the difference…

Perhaps it’s just me, but as someone who studies wealth and prosperity, I notice people a little differently than I used to. I have come to a point where I notice what people are wearing, what type and quality of clothing and jewelry they wear, their general level of grooming and etiquette, how they behave, etc., and by this I do NOT mean that I judge…I just notice. I know that to be successful in life, you have to do a lot of internal work on yourself, and naturally the results of that work show on the outside. As someone who studies success - both the methods and the results - the physical signs are just things that catch my eye.

I see a trend in the last little while of people showing off; that is, displaying the accoutrements of wealth on the outside - flashy jewels, designer sunglasses, fancy cars -  yet not having the breadth of personality, shall we say, that one would expect on the inside. This is harder to articulate than I thought, because as I’m writing it I feel like a snob and that is not my intent. What I mean to say is a continuation of the point made above, which is that truly wealthy people are wealthy on the inside…they are not snobby, or flashy, and usually don’t need to show off. In my experience, with self-made wealth in particular, the truly prosperous are fun-loving, happy, friendly and very down-to-earth. Perhaps this is because they remember the struggles they endured to get where they are, and they embody the character traits and skillsets required to reach for the top and succeed. If there is any flashiness, it is just an expression of their sheer exuberance and of enjoying the best life has to offer, rather than a reflection of a need to show off or impress others.

Personally, I love beautiful, luxurious things, and I know there was a point when I would worry what others thought about me and that they would think I was ’showing off.’ I also went through a stage where I felt it was of key importance to look wealthy all the time, so that I would feel wealthy, and give the impression that I was…Along the way on my journey to prosperity, I have shed a great majority of my false beliefs about money, other people, and myself…no doubt there are many more in there (some analogy about peeling an onion comes to mind), but I’ve done a LOT of work and I am in a completely different place that I was when I began. I remember being at the stage when I was looking for limited beliefs, because I just KNEW by how my life was going (or not) that there must be some in there somewhere! Now I do not worry at all what other people think, and funny enough I get along with most people even better than I did before. I express who I am with love for myself, and tolerance for everyone else. If I want to drive around in my Mercedes I’ll do so shouting ‘yaaahhooooo!!!!!’ because I love it, and not to impress one other person. If I want to save my money and instead by an old clunker, I’ll do that with a smile because the decision and result are mine.

That’s all. This did not start out as a deeply personal commentary, but feels like it is now. Then again, I know I could have benefitted from someone being this honest back when I was looking for clues to prosperity…so I hope it’s helpful!

Who are you?…

If you take out a piece of paper and write about who you are, you may find that the answers are full of labels, judgements and comparisons. For example, a man may say I am a husband, father, weekend athlete, lawyer, good negotiator, etc..

Conversely, if you close your eyes and think about the essence of what it feels like to be you, those judgements and labels probably don’t come up at all, do they?… I urge you to try these two little exercises so you can see and feel the difference for yourself.

This stark contrast became apparent to me while writing my LOA book, and in it I started giving a brief rundown of ‘who I am.’ I wanted the description to be free of labels, and you know what? It’s difficult to do. We define ourselves for so long based on our relationship to others, our physical attributes, our jobs, and what we think are our strengths, weaknesses, and important personality traits. But if we are infinite, formless beings underneath it all, are these definitions not the box that keeps us confined?

In truth, we are not our personality traits, or our relationships, or anything else. Because of the nature of our true selves, we are - for now - whatever we define ourselves to be. This is a very powerful concept, because it means we can be whatever we want to be. To really take advantage of this, sit down and make another list right now. Instead of using your current definitions, clear your mind and think about what you would ideally like to be. Think about the rest of your days on this earth, and what you would like to have said about you. What kind of legacy would you like to leave? What are the highest and best traits you wish to embody? You can be ANYTHING you want – just define it. Not many people do this, and those who do live satisfying lives of choice and high personal value. Enjoy!

Who among us has not heard the phrase ‘everything in moderation’? We figure if we do everything ‘almost’ right - if we eat well most of the time, exercise a few times a week - then we can ‘indulge’ every once in a while, and we feel justified and happy doing so. I myself have lived by this credo for the most part over the past few years.

Just this past week, however, two people have asked me if I lost weight…after my immediate thought ‘why, was I looking chubby before?…’ I started wondering why they asked; I was unaware of having lost any weight. In thinking back, I do remember making a few decisions differently over the last couple of weeks than I have in the past, and to this I must attribute any physical change.

I have been studying and thinking about the concept of consistency lately, and along with my goals which have been top of my mind, I must assume this awareness has made a difference in my actions. One of the goals I state over and over in my mind is that I am active every day. Just that repetition has caused me to get up and do something, when prior to this I would have skipped a day, although I still would have been active almost every day. Can it be this simple?…I happen to be listening to a set of Brian tracy tapes in my car at the moment. When I go to eat something lately, I can hear Brian Tracy’s words in my mind; ‘Every decision you make is either taking you towards your goals, or away from them’…so there have been a few times lately where I decided on salad instead of pasta, or fruit instead of ice cream, when I normally eat a really healthy diet most of the time.

Can these few small changes - the difference between consistency and moderation - really make the difference? For someone who is very mindful of choices and feels they are usually good ones, I find this really surprising, although perhaps I shouldn’t. It makes perfect sense, and brings to life for me a saying I once heard about the difference between super-successful people - in athletics, finance, whatever - and normal people not being the huge gap everyone thinks it is. The difference is very small, and if we could only see that, we might be motivated to just tighten everything up a little and reap the rewards we say we want so badly. Well, I can tell you from the frontlines - it’s true! Such tiny little differences in decision-making DO make a fundamental difference in outcome, and they started before the moment, with a prior decision, that XYZ is what I want and who I am.

I just received an amusing call from a marketing company asking to speak to ‘the owner’ of one of my websites. Right away I noticed that I felt defensive, wondering whether there was an issue, or this person was calling to try to sell me something (poor salespeople - they don’t stand a chance with me).

The gentleman proceeded to launch into his spiel about how they could help drive traffic to our website and how great their services were, and I had to interrupt. I asked him if he was aware that we owned a network of sites, and of which tactics and techniques we are already making use of in order to accomplish the ‘driving more traffic’ he was speaking of. Well, no….but if I just listened to their list of programs available perhaps I would discover some that were of interest, etc. etc.. Did he have a number I could call him back at, I wondered? No.

The truth is, there is always more we can learn, and I am always interested in new and better ways of doing things. Ophelia and I work very hard at learning and applying so that we don’t have to pay others to do that for us, and also it is a pleasure for us. We not only work hard at it, we absolutely love it, and without knowing this about us, this gentleman launched into his company spiel completely blind, which was offensive to me as a consumer. He obviously is just going down some list of websites in whois, and calling to try and sell them a product or program, hoping he will catch some fish, so to speak.

A more intuitive salesperson may have been able to catch on to this, since I clearly informed him that we were internet marketers ourselves, and perhaps some intelligent questions would have led to a far more productive conversation.

The lesson here is, if you are in sales or jsut in general when you are speaking to someone, be prepared. Learn a little about your subject before you speak to them; not only will it be flattering, you will enjoy far more productive and useful communication. Secondly, be felxible, which means LISTEN. People are not closed books; they exhibit countless clues as to what they are thinking, including their tone of voice, their choice of words and their body language if in person.

Effective communication means paying attention and rolling with whatever is currently happening, rathe rthan following some pre-planned script. But hey, this is just my opinion!

A tiny point in my Spammers post yesterday about how we choose to behave based on our decisions - eg. I will not react angrily when xyz happens - caused a little flutter in my universe.

Aaron from Todayisthatday.com (one of the very few people to whom we have a permanent sidelink) picked up on it, and added his kind comments. I followed his link just to see his latest posting, as I always enjoy his content. There, lo and behold, is a long and thoughtful post about emotional reaction, and it has engendered many responses, including my own. Aaron writes long posts, and he puts a lot of thought into them and articulates those thoughts with intelligence and compassion. If you would like to read this particular one, click here.

What I am learning is that we are NEVER alone. Just when I am writing something in the privacy of my own home, others are having and expressing similar thoughts. The internet is an incredible medium for communication, and it also plays up the ‘coincidences’ in life, which are never just coincidences. Fun! Just the other day, I became one of the last known people in North America to join Facebook, and within minutes, a few people found me who had apparently just ‘on a lark’ been looking for me. Coincidence?…or more?

As some of you may have noticed, we get our share of daily spam in the forum and Ophelia and I are in there at least twice a day deleting the new entries. There is some REALLY inappropriate material in some of these posts, and I’m grateful my daughter has not been sitting beside me or passing by when I accidentally happen upon something that is very graphic.

However, we love our forum and want it to be a great place to hang out in, so we make this effort gladly, in the name of allowing all our genuine users fairly free access.

Just this morning, as I was deleting our fresh influx of spam, my other half walked by and expressed his distaste for the people who ‘do this’ to us, and used a few expletives himself. My immediate response was ‘Hey, they are just entrepreneuers like us, doing things their own way and they are hoping to make money from it.’ And it’s true. I believe so fervently in free enterprise, and in appreciating the opportunities we have in our lives to thrive based on our own efforts and merit, that it didn’t even occur to me to ‘hate’ these people or what they are doing. I may find it a pain to have to delete the illicit material and the drug pitches every day; I may not agree with their tactics or the choice of product/s; I may wish they would take their ‘business’ elsewhere; but at the end of the day, I respect their rights because I appreciate my own.

This is part of the same overall concept as being happy for others who are happy, wealthy, in love, successful - you name it. We have written about this in the past (see What if it Wasn’t You?), and the understanding and application of this principle is a key stepping stone to allowing yourself to receive the many wonderful things you say you want - wealth, health, happiness, success…etc..

I am just glad to see that for me, when it counted ie. ‘in the moment’, I was able to apply this lesson and my natural response was one of inclusion and empathy, rather than negativity or separateness. To me that means I am walking my talk, and that makes me even more happy.

Have a great day!

…or is that thinking vs. feeling?…

I am really enjoying the book mentioned yesterday, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. In it, he illustrates the differences between the human ego and the true nature of the being that you are. He explains that it is when we are thinking - which is pretty much constantly - that we are immersed in ego, and only when we are feeling are we truly experiencing our own essence. This feeling does not include reactive feelings that are caused by thoughts…it is the feeling of existence - the ‘I am’ that is allowed to surface when we stop thinking for a moment - to which he refers. Although I have studied human nature for many years, I find his approach refreshing and enlightening.

One way in which I feel this knowledge - this change in perception - can help is to take us out of our own thoughts and observe them. We are NOT our thoughts, and while we talk a lot about our thoughts creating our reality, we must distinguish here between ultimate reality and what seems to be ‘every day’ reality. Indeed our thoughts do perpetuate situations and create new ones, based on their nature and direction. When we can ’step aside’ from the process and observe our thoughts, there is a wholly different perspective. This observation of thoughts by being detached from them allows for more clarity, and thus we may create changes in intention which just are not possible when we are immersed in our own thought process. Imagine this by picturing the difference between working with a puzzle as an outside observer who can see the intended picture (result) vs. being one of the pieces.

I love new perspectives, and this book is defintely creating that for me, which is why I am sharing the experience with you. As we often say, change your mind, and change your LIFE!

Today is summer solstice in the Northern Hemisphere - the day the earth begins its’ tilt back towards the south and we enjoy the ‘longest’ day of the year, meaning the longest sunshine. Even though the days (daylight hours) will now start getting shorter, our summer has barely begun, and there is plenty more to do and plan. Today serves as a reminder to stop and enjoy the moment; to celebrate life and its’ power, but also its’ transience. The very fact that we are only on earth a short while is cause for intense enjoyment and celebration, an enjoyment of the poignancy of it all.

There is something about summer solstice that makes me feel more connected to the spirit world, and to history. It feels ethereal somehow, and makes me think of the human race as a whole, celebrating in many ways and many places over the last few thousand years. The sun is our life-giving entity, and we all worship it in our own way. It means life to us in ways we cannot even comprehend consciously.

In Eckhart Tolle’s beautiful and inspiring new book (he is the author of the astonishingly successful The Power of Now), ‘A New Earth’, he speaks movingly about the delicate but powerfully moving effect that such things as flowers, birds and precious gems have on humans, because we sense a beauty and design in them that we do not fully understand. He says ‘Their special significance and the reason why humans feel such fascination for and affinity with them can be attributed to their ethereal quality.’

Today, let’s celebrate life, and the ethereal and indescribable feeling that is awareness of life-force. Celebrate in your own way - just be aware. Appreciate. Acknowledge. Enjoy. LIVE.