The Breathing Prosperity blog

For much of my life, I hated concepts like winning and winner, competition and trying to beat the other guy. I felt this type of thinking denigrated everyone else and left most people feeling like ‘losers’ in life, while instead we should be appreciating everyone’s unique gifts and talents.

While I still believe it appreciating each person uniquely, I have come to see that this does not preclude winning. Winning means striving for more, never giving up, asking your best of yourself, learning and growing and achieving your dreams and ambitions. Winning is a concept I have now embraced, and in fact I can see that I had done myself a disservice by shunning it.

Football great Joe Montana makes this point in his book about what it takes to win, relating that he sees a lot of parents and coaches these days congratulating kids ‘just for showing up’. He feels, and I tend to agree having thought about it, that this is doing kids a great disservice. By not encouraging our kids to get better, face challenges, be their absolute best, challenge themselves and what they think their best is, we are saying we are OK with mediocrity and not teaching them how to push themselves. His point is that in the real world they will enter as adults, they will not have the skills, the toughness, the strength, flexibility and power it takes to be successful. They need true coaches - people who call them on their bad attitude, lack of effort or not being their best. Encouragement has to deal with both the positive and the negative. As someone who studies success I agree, and find this to be a powerful wake-up call in how I am raising my daughter.

Robert Kiyosaki tells a story of when he was a young man and how he felt ’snubbed’ on his footbal team because even though he would practice he would never get played. It took an honest coach to tell him that he didn’t have (wasn’t displaying) the right attitude - the right spirit and drive - to deserve to be played. For Robert, this was his own wake-up call and drove him to reach inside himself and bring out what was best in himself. Isn’t this a skill we want for ourselves and our kids?…Robert says, ‘Today, I realize that what I want in life is up to me. There is no one in my way. If I want something, I know that desire is not enough. I need to do what it takes to be a winner, before I can win. I often repeat to myself, “Life is a rip-off when you expect to be given what you want.” There is a world of difference between expecting to be a starting player and being a starting player.’

REALLY good point. In a world where many are quick to blame outside circumstances or people for their problems, it is refreshing to be practicing and teaching concepts that actually change circumstances and destinies; winning principles such as responsibility, integrity, persistence, strength of resolve and character, and asking much of oneself. Here’s to winning principles!